SELF-CONTROL UNDER FIRE
Have you ever been “attacked” by someone for no apparent reason? Have you ever had a situation escalate into something so quickly you felt blindsided? I guess we all have!
For most of us when we get “hit” we want to “fight” back. This often results in a loss of Self-Control which is one of the most devastating things that can happen to you as a leader.
Here are three keys to mastering Self-Control when you are under “attack.”
1. Know what you believe and your purpose for being in the situation. When you know your Why and your bigger purpose, this minimizes the threat of the attack and allows you to better communicate under pressure. It is not about being right or winning an argument, it is about having the best influence possible and discovering the truth.
2. When attacked out of proportion to the situation ask yourself this question: Would a secure person do that? Answer: Of course not! This means the attack is not about you and has everything to do with what is going on with that person. This allows your response to go from defend or hit back to compassion and concern for the other person. ”Do not pay back evil with evil or cursing with cursing; instead, payback with a blessing, because a blessing is what God promised to give you when He called you.” They have something in their life that is causing this situation. The bottom line is the problem is them, not you, and recognizing this right away takes the pressure off of you and allows you to think clearly and respond with calm and compassion.
3. Practice the Self-Control mental model for communicating in advance. All of us have difficult conversations from time to time and if we know we are going to have one, it is good to go through the mental model before you have the conversation. Take a minute or two before the conversation or situation to remind yourself of your Why and higher purpose. Have a framework of your response already in place.
Coach Leaders have Self-Control. You are a Coach Leader!
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